Pretty Tough | Girls Kick Butt! » Jokes

You know you’re a triathlete when…

admin — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 23:00:42 +0000

The first three items on your grocery list are Gatorade, power bars, and gels.
When you floss at night, it’s to get the bugs out of your teeth.
Your legs move in a cycling motion while you are asleep.
You see a drop of blood, your first reaction is that you spilled some red Gatorade.
You know how far you biked and ran last year, to one-tenth of a kilometer.
You think the ultimate form of wallpaper is about 64 racing bibs.
The 19-year old kid who works in a bicycle shop knows more about you than your next-door neighbor.
You have a vanity license plate with the word “Kona” in it. (or TRI WGON)
About half the shirts you own have at least a dozen logos on the back of them.
You don’t find the word “Fartlek” in the least bit amusing.
You refer to your “partner”, you don’t mean your significant other but the person you run or bike with three times a week.
You shave your legs more for a competition than a date.
It doesn’t feel right that you can’t “clip ” in and out of the pedals in your car.
There is a group of people in your life about whom you are more likely to know how fast they can swim 100 meters than their surnames or occupations.
There’s a separate load of laundry every week that is just your workout clothes.
One of your goals this year is to be faster at getting out of your wetsuit (or not to exceed your HR ceiling).
You failed high school chemistry but you could teach a course on lactic acid.
All you want for Christmas is something called a carbon crank set.
You have to have completely separate meals from your friends because they are all on low-carb diets.
Your bicycle is in your living room.
You have stocked up on a brand of cereal because it has a coupon that will save you money on your next two pairs of running shoes.
A car follows too closely behind you, you accuse the driver of “drafting” (or you “draft” behind the car in front of you)
Your friends cried during The Notebook; you cried during the television coverage of the Hawaii Ironman.
Your boyfriend is looking forward to the day when you will slow down and just run marathons.
You see no issue with talking about treatments for chafing or saddle rash at the dinner table.
You recently asked your boyfriend out for dinner by asking if he wanted to “fuel up” together.
The magazine secretly tucked under your mattress has pictures of really expensive bicycles in it.

You know you’re a rower when…

Pretty Tough — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 19:56:17 +0000

You know you’re a rower when…

-everything you do is “in 2…”
-the phrase “cox box” doesn’t make you giggle
-you believe the world wouldn’t exist without spandex
-you only recognize your friends from behind
-you believe all authority figures carry a megaphone
-you sit in class leaning to your rigger
-half your body is bigger than the other
-you blame bad moods on “the set”
-your friends need a rowing translator to decipher your language
-you think sleeping late is waking up at 8:30.
-when you sit down in class, you look for the tie-in shoes.
-you constantly check the tightness of nuts in handrails, chairs, door handles, etc.
-you think gloves are for sissies, but a nice pair of poogies is really stylin’
-you bring up the beauty of the dawn, and people give you blank stares
-you know more than 4 brands of porta-johns by name.
-you give directions to a friend and say “turn to port” instead of “take a left.”
-you dress and undress one-handed so you don’t have to take your hand off the oar.
-every time you sit in a chair you are mildly surprised to discover that it doesn’t slide back and forth.

March Madness: Basketball Jokes

admin — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:34:54 +0000

Q: What do basketball players and babies have in common?
A: They both dribble!

Q: What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
A: Your breath!

Q: Why do basketball players love cookies?
A: Because they can dunk them!

Q: Why should you not play sports in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs!

Q: What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?
A: One drools and the other dribbles.

Q: Why was Cinderella such a bad player?
A: Her coach was a pumpkin.

You know you are a REAL female rider if…

admin — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 20:36:35 +0000

You’ve broke a nail on your clutch or front brake
Your perfume smells like eau de exhaust
You have specific riding shoes so you don’t have shifter marks on your cute ones
Your helmet has makeup on the inside of it
You take the “windswept” hair look to a level never seen before (more…)

You Know You’re a Swimmer When:

admin — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 19:54:52 +0000

You have permanent goggle marks and suit hickies
You go through the economy size bottle of lotion weekly
Chlorine is your perfume
The word taper is a godsend
You live on a diet of Gatorade and Powerbars
Sleeping in means waking up at 7
Boys in speedos is absolutely nothing weird (in fact its hot)
IM doesn’t mean instant messenger
You can tell your coach’s whistle apart from all the other coach’s whistles
Seeing people with green hair doesn’t shock you
Your favorite words are “warm down” “get a kickboard” “100 easy” and “TAPER”
Hearing other sports team complain about how “hard” their sport is makes you laugh

The Softball Prayer

admin — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 01:28:47 +0000

Lord, give me the strength to hit the ball
And if I do don’t let me fall
Help me to pick the pitch that’s right
Then let me knock it out of sight

Then let me run a sprinter’s pace
But please don’t let me miss first base
Then on to 2nd, stay with me Lord,
Cause this one out we can’t afford

Then let me zoom like a flying bird
Right down the line and on to third
Then let me slide with feet out - thrust
Across the plate leavin’ nothin’ but dust

BUT FIRST OF ALL, DEAR LORD, I PRAY
JUST TELL THE COACH TO LET ME PLAY!!

Sports Jokes - Keep ‘em laughing

admin — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 23:46:27 +0000

Two paddlers sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

(more…)

Golf & Tennis Jokes - Keep ‘em laughing

admin — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 23:38:41 +0000

Q: Why is a tennis game so loud?
A: Because the players raise a racquet

Q: Why was the computer so good at golf?
A: Because it had a hard drive!

(more…)

Softball Jokes - Keep ‘em Laughing

admin — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 00:17:47 +0000

Seventh Inning Stretch

Need some new jokes to keep you laughing? Feel free to cut and paste some of our favorites:
Q: Why was the piano tuner hired to play on the softball team?
A: Beacause she had perfect pitch.

Q: Why did the softball fan take his car to the game?
A: He heard it was a long drive to center field. (more…)

Soccer Jokes - Keep ‘em laughing

admin — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 23:29:32 +0000

Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
A: Because she ran away from the ball!

Q: Why do soccer players do so well in math?
A: They know how to use their heads.

(more…)