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The Fierce Fourteen - America’s Next Top Models

September 4, 2008 - Last night’s premiere of America’s Next Top Model threw a few curve balls but was, for the most part, rote ANTM. We could have lived without the futuristic theme and The Top Model Institute of Technology where Alpha J (aka runway diva extraordinaire J. Alexander) and Beta Jay (aka creative director Jay Manuel) who were both dressed as Ziggy Stardust twins.

Tyrobot ruled and we got our first look at the competitors. Meet the girls of Cycle 11.

Lauren Brie, 20, Charlottesville, VA
The most interesting thing about her is that her father is the Chief of Police for her podunk hometown.

Analeigh, 19, Sacramento, CA
A former competitive figure skater who tells a crazy story about being approached by a fake modeling agency recruiter who attempts to sell her as a bride to a Saudi prince!

Clark, 19, Pawleys Island, SC
A perfectionist who thinks she’s the prettiest girl in the competition (she’s not).

Marjorie, 19, San Francisco, CA
A goofy, awkward, nervous wannabe model who moved to SF from France when she was nine.

Isis, 22, Prince George’s County, MD
This cycle’s shock contestant is the first transgender model on the show. And pre-op, no less. Her biological sex doesn’t make her unattractive - it’s the ugly-pretty face Tyra’s always talking about that makes great photos. This girly-boy is gonna kick pretty little booties all over the catwalk.

Sheena, 21 from Harlem, NY
A ghetto fabulous Asian chick with shades of Kimora.

Brittany R., 19, Henderson, NV
A biracial girl (African American mother, Native American father) who wants to show the Greater Las Vegas area that African Americans can be cover girls.

Hannah, 18, Fairbanks, AK
A naïve young thing from the land Sarah Palin who won’t let us forget she lives in the sticks.

Joslyn, 23, Lucky, LA
A Southern gal who auditioned for ANTM over 30 times!

Elina, 18, Seattle, WA
A dark, brooding, vegan omnisexual with a developing crush on fellow contestant Clark; wants to use modeling as a platform for her own personal activism agenda.

Nikeysha, 19, The Bronx, NY
An overly enthusiastic contestant who flashed the judges and tossed them her gel bra inserts.

Brittany S., 19, Lake Forest, IL
Renamed McKey to reduce confusion with Brittany R, this redhead practices mixed martial arts with her cage fighter boyfriend.

Samantha, 18, Woodland Hills, CA
A young, tanned, athletic Socal girl who wants to represent health and fitness in her modeling career.

Though “Top Model” has gone from a low-budget reality show to CW tent-pole programming, it remains basically a drama about a group of women living together in close quarters and the photos they produce. Bring it on!